Election Special

Well, far be it from me, a ‘nominal’ musician of little worth, to try to influence anybody’s voting preferences, but I’ll be voting Labour – as I have always done, more or less – but, this time, with a real hope for something extraordinary happening.

I was lucky enough to have a general election when I was eighteen, and voted in my old school hall… for Ramsay McDonald. When Jeremy Corbyn was elected leader of the Labour party, I was in Italy, on holiday, drunk as a skunk and stark naked. I laughed at the devastation he would bring. I was wrong.

It’s good to be wrong. He was looking at the bigger picture. His rise, during this election, has been nothing short of magnificent – like the last verse of Kenny Rodgers’s Coward of The County – where he “stops and locks the door.”

I’d thought the Labour Party was dead, but I was wrong. During Ed Milliband’s sad tenure, I registered myself on the party website as ‘Syphilis Goldenwinkle’, and still treasure the emails he sent, urging us to ‘Stand up, together!’ Jeremy is an entirely different kettle of fish. Anyway, I digress…

Never in my life has the gap been so wide, and the difference between the parties so great. What seemed like a ridiculous simplification in the past, is now so glaringly obvious: I’m voting labour because I believe it’s possible to make this old shit hole a much better place, a fairer place, and one that I’d like my daughter to grow up in.

Pretty sure anyone reading this doesn’t need lecturing, but if you are undecided, have a thought.

Vote Labour. x


To the tune of Spiderman…

Theresa May, Theresa May
Out of work on Friday
Gets a job in a pub
Pulling pints, serving grub
Look out… here come Theresa May

Pretty soon signing on
Husbands left, savings gone
Flogs the shoes, pawns the chain
Easy life, down the drain
Look out, here comes Theresa May

ESA, fit to work
Zero hours got to hurt
Sanctioned once, sanctioned twice
Food bank shut, shit on ice!
Goodbye, goodbye Theresa May